Remarks on Bartholomae

Out of all the student essays evaluated by David Bartholomae, I feel he was most impressed with the essay referred to in the article as the “clay model”.  He uses it as the example to compare the other essay samples to.  The challenge to the writer is to convey his thoughts under time constraints and pressure as he feels is appropriate for the University. His ability to use descriptions in his writing that identifies him as a researcher rather than a high school kid is able to draw the reader’s interest and attention apart from everyone else.  Bartholomae is also impressed with the writer’s rhythm and expressions which gives him command over his creative moment.  He was very impressed with the final sentence, “Creativity is indeed a tool which has to exist, or our world will not succeed in the future and progress like it should”.  I find the writer’s sentence is very expressive of his personality.  It is believable that he celebrates uniqueness not just as an individual’s desire, but also as a necessary product for the future of society.
Bartholomae identifies a break in the writer’s style when he changes tone from that of a student to a teacher.  He sees it as a slip which “basic writers” make, an inability to remain in control of the subject and yield authority.  I feel his writing is quite good for a student not having prior knowledge to the topic and not having instruction beyond basic writing.
The description of creativity is more impressive for someone who is identified a part of generation that Blum says, “shifts in trends and behaviors from authentic to performance.” A generation identified by Helene Hegemann in the Nicholas Kulish article “that freely mixes and matches from the whirring flood of information across new and old media to create something new.”  Bartholomae believes that writers must imagine for themselves.  His point is that we have the capabilities to create power discourse since we are our own tour guides of our experiences.  I think all individuals bring an authentic approach towards conducting themselves.  Everyone has different challenges and expectations to meet.  Being creative or authentic does not require one to be isolated.  With the benefits of technology and the popularity of social networks, uniqueness and individuality have become more interactive.
I’ve had a hard time between trying to determine what part of a person is more authentic or performance, or if one trait is better than the other.  I see beneficial qualities in both as the authentic self abides by the production of original work, while the performance self follows a collective model, where involvement is a requirement in everything we do.  I currently intern for the EPA, designing maps for specific toxic waste sites throughout California.  My maps are my creation; no one else has produced maps pertaining to the subject matter or the specified the same data before.  The maps are supported by an institution and are designed to motivate and encourage better decision making in human behavior and ignite better government intervention in protecting vulnerable communities.  I think the decision of abiding a principle of authenticity or performance is personal and a reflection of each individual acting according to their views.  I don’t anyone needs to struggle trying to follow one certain path. Originality and performance both require and emphasize multiple truths.


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